When motherhood isn't a joy

Julie Cugali is recovering from postpartum depression after the birth of her son, Alex, five years ago. Anne-Marie Jackson/The Globe and Mail

Kristy Reesor suffers from bipolar disorder so she was monitored closely during her pregnancy, but it went well and, despite the stresses of being a single mom with a colicky baby, so did motherhood.

“For the first three months, things were great. I figured I was in the clear," she says.

But the lack of sleep started to catch up with her, and then the intrusive thoughts (a classic symptom of postpartum) came. Ms. Reesor worried obsessively about her daughter dying of sudden infant death syndrome, and when she picked up Cypress, she had a fear of dropping her.

“These were horrific thoughts. You don't even want to admit having them because you think they will take the baby away," says the 32-year-old from Red Deer, Alta. “You feel like the most horrible mother in the world."

Ms. Reesor sought counselling and joined a support group for women suffering postpartum depression. “The support group was huge for me. To hear other moms echo my fears and worries took away the shame."

The group also became a network of friends that helped break her isolation.

Ms. Reesor refused antidepressants, not wanting to risk harm to the baby she was breastfeeding. She opted instead for nutritional supplements, an approach she has used for her underlying condition, bipolar disorder, She has remained off drugs and symptom-free for seven years.

“There's definitely a link between nutrition and depression," says Brenda Leung, a PhD candidate at the University of Calgary who is part of a research team conducting a study on the links between diet and depression during pregnancy and in the postpartum period.

Ms. Leung's research to date shows women with postpartum depression have very low levels of omega-3 fatty acids (found principally in dark fish such as tuna and leafy greens such as Swiss chard).

In the study, women will get fish oil supplements to see if it can help stave off depression, just as they take folic acid to prevent birth defects in their babies.

“Everybody wants a magic bullet to prevent postpartum, but nature isn't that simple," Ms. Leung says. “Still, we think that good nutrition is a way of preventing depression in pregnant women and new moms."

Ms. Cugalj knew her depression was lifting when she began to enjoy food again, when playing with her son became a pleasure not a chore and when getting out of bed each morning was not an ordeal.